My New Game of Life
by manxscrubsnut
Summary: Turk likes to play games and J.D. usually loses... so what happens when J.D. buys a cut price copy of the simpsons version of the game of life? Final Chapter is up rated T for mild language, please R & R! COMPLETE
1. Let the game begin

This fic was inspired by the fact Turk likes to beat J.D. in silly and stupid games, so I decided to base it on the board game "The Simpson's game of life" its based on a real run-through, I won't bore you to death with the full rule book just to say that the story **WILL **follow the rules as they are written down... and will be explained where required

Disclaimer:- I own nothing of this story, except the sequence of moves made (and they could be replicated in any real game I suppose, but to be able to replicate them exactly as this story has them would be the longest of long-shots), any complaints and I set Ted on you, and you really don't want that!!

Note:- _Italics_ is the named person thinking in his/her head

Setting:- Turk and Carla's apartment, Season 6 (after Kim lied about the miscarriage, but before the medical conference in Phoenix, so Kim is still Pregnant, J.D. has no idea, and she won't be making an appearance)

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J.D.:- _Down the years, Turk and I have played some pretty silly games, steak, ankles, throw a hat on rowdy etc, and they always end the same way, with Turk winning... so when I spotted a copy of the Simpson's version of the "game of life" in a closing down sale yesterday, I knew I had to get it, 20 Dollars down to just 7 Dollars 50 Cents?? SOLD!!_

Having got it out the box and read the rule sheet, set up the board as it should be, J.D. told Turk it was game time "Ok I'll be the green car" said Turk... "and I suppose you'll go with blue?" he asked JD "sure... ok, one of us is gonna have to be banker"

Elliot, looking for Carla, walked through the door

"hey guys, you seen Carla?" "she's at the hospital, Izzy is asleep in her cot in the bedroom, and we have the night off" said Turk" you playing a new game??" "Simpson's game of life" said Turk, "just about to start" "Coolio" responded Elliot, then she noticed the bankers tray on the table with the game money in the slots. "Hey, Can I be the bank?? I used to be the bank when I played monopoly at College with the girls..."

"Sure why not?" said JD "we both need 10 thousand each to start, those are the yellow notes" in explanation "OK said Elliot, picking out 2 yellow slips and handing 1 each to JD and Turk, "what next?"

"Shuffle the deck of career cards, and I'll pick 1 said Turk followed by the salary card, if the salary is the same colour as 1 of the colour strips either side of the symbol, then I get that salary every time I pass or land on a green payday space, ok"

"Got it" Elliot said as she flicked through the career cards "ok, 2 of these require the educational degree route, you guys going to go that rout or get a job straight off??"

"so what's the benefits of the education?" asked Turk "you can take any job, but you have to pay off your hundred thousand dollar loan with 25 per-cent interest before the end of the game..." explained Elliot

JD weighed up the options, and considered what to do, "I'm going to get a job straight off, first time of playing the game, learning the ropes etc" Turk decided the same route as well, so Elliot removed the cards for the posts of Mayor and Doctor, shuffled them again, and offered Turk first choice.

Turk Drew the police officer card and then drew a very nice salary card… the text being in red, matched so that was acceptable "80 thousand on payday, land on a tax space and I owe 35 thousand, oh yeah and no spinning a 10 JD, or you owe me 10 thousand, and I will collect"

JD drew the personal assistant card, and then twinned it with the rather nice salary of $90,000 on pay day "40 grand tax!!, whoa!!, but I can collect the yellow salary card when I have 4 life tiles, trade them in for that card"

"What's that cards salary Elliot??" asked Turk in a voice that conveyed apprehension…

"one hundred thousand dollars on pay day but the tax is a whopping 45"

"Sounds good" said J.D. "but lets see if I get those life cards first"

Turk:- "_Ouch, 100 grand is gonna kill my chances if he gets it quick, nothing I can do, but sit and bide my time, maybe land on a blue space and swap salaries, its optional, but with that amount on the line, its not an option, I HAVE TOO!!"_

"Ok" said Elliot, "time to spin to see who goes first, bigger number out of 10 on the spin gets it, if you tie then we go again"

JD span the spinner and landed on a 4… _what will Turk spin?? _The dial spun round and stopped at 9… "so, Turk goes first"

Turk span a 3, passed a pay day space, and landed on a bonus space "mother becomes fugitive, leaves you 10 thousand " Elliot handed him an orange 100 thousand note, and he handed her back the 10 he has started with.

J.D. started off with a 5, "double payday and a life card, that's number 1"

Elliot handed him his 180 thousand in game money plus a life tile, face down as he went to turn it over, Elliot advised him not to "you find out what they are worth at the end of the game, not before"

Turk reached over and span a 4 "pay day and my first life card"

Elliot counted out another 80,000 and picked a random life tile, and handed them over.

J.D. started his next turn by buying a car insurance slip for 10 thousand "protects me from forking out if I land on a space that has a pay up if not insured" and then span a 4, "become mob gopher, sell story to Hollywood, collect 10,000" Elliot handed him back the note he had used to by the car insurance "so basically you just got free car insurance out of that" she noted… "Yeah, just the way it lands some days

Turk then span and got a 7, payday, wedding "at least you showed up on time for this one" says JD with a smirk. Turk Collected his 2nd life card, he span again at this point as in the rule book, and got a 1, "Motorcycle gang swoops spouse, pay 10K ransom, my Puerto Rican princess would be worth every cent I had" Elliot pointed out "Turk, she's Dominican!!" "I know. Just seeing if you were awake" there was a silence for a moment, "I doubt Carla would see it that way" said Elliot

J.D. then had his next go and span a 7, and stopped to get married, "Maybe 1 day, but not any time soon J.D," Elliot said "anyway you have a pay day and a 2nd life card she said" handing over the readies, "oh yeah and spin again" J.D. obliged with a 7, "pay day again" _AWESOME…. _thought J.D. to himself

Turk was hoping for a good number but only got a 1, "life card number 3, leave extra spouse behind in Vegas, you know all about Vegas, right J.D.??"

"Yeah, and now I have flashbacks whenever I hear ABBA's dancing queen or here it goes again by OK Go nowadays… I will always associate those 2 songs with that road trip from hell…"

With that, J.D. span a 5, stops to buy a house, Elliot shuffled the desk of house deed cards, J.D. picked 1 from each end and turned them over "the crone condo at 80K or the yokel shack at 40K, insurance is 25% of cost of house, so 20 grand on the condo and only 10 on the shack" he noted, he thought about it for a few seconds "Re-sell value is higher on the condo, I'll take that and insure it for a full 100 grand" handing Elliot 2 green notes (50,000 each), she routed out a home insurance slip and handed that over as well… on his next move, J.D. landed an 8 and sped down the track, a pair of pay days made him a his money back on the house and insurance and a bit more, a 3rd life card, and then he read the space he had landed on, he was now the father of TWINS!!

"Fraternal boy/girl twins ok with you JD?" asks Elliot passing him 1 pink 1 blue peg...

"Yeah, sure, sounds good, I'm just sorry that Kim lost the baby, I was looking forward to possibly meeting Sam Perry Gilligan Dorian"

"Sam after your dad, Perry??" asked Elliot "I just like the sound of the name" J.D. stated

_Plus it will honor my mentor, Dr Perry Cox, even if he doesn't like Hugh Jackman!!_

"And Gilligan cause you lost that bet to me in med school, J.D." said Turk

"and Gilligan, cause as Turk rightly said, I lost that bet"

"Anyways" said Turk as he span a 5 "payday please Elliot"

J.D. was way in front and then span a 1, the symbol on the space matched the "servant with drink on a tray" symbol his own, "pay 20,000 dollars, hang its my symbol", he checked the rule sheet, and then announced "ok no money needs to change hands".

Turk span a 2 "get run over by a millionaire, collect 50k" Elliot handed Turk a 50 thousand note, and then went to get a glass of water from the kitchen

J.D. then hit a spot of bad luck and span a 10, Turk was on it like a pack of ducks being fed fresh bread "10 grand please" J.D. "damn it!!" he exclaimed, Elliot sat back down with a glass of water on the table next to her "Elliot, split this for a pair of 10's" he said, handing her a pink 20 thousand, she put it back in the tray and gave J.D. and Turk $10,000 each) "but on the bright side that's another pay day and a life card, replace snowball one with snowball 2" this was a 4th life card, he counted them up and then said "yellow salary card please Elliot", handing over all 4 life tiles and his 90k salary card.

"_Oh great, here we go, I always beat J.D., and now I'm at an even bigger disadvantage_"Thought Turk

Turk span a 4, and finally got to the point where he could buy a house, then realized "I need car insurance, so I'll buy that as well" once again Elliot fanned out the cards and Turk selected 2, he got a choice of the yokel shack or the nuclear family home, finally settling on the nuclear family home for $100,000 along with $25,000 insurance, the total with 2 insurance policies came to $135,000, he handed Elliot the sum of $150,000 getting $15,000 change, his house and car insurance slips and house deed card…

Turk span again, and landed a 7, he counted them off and picked up a double pay packet of $160,000

The game was getting competitive now, even though J.D. was leading,  
he knew Turk could catch him fast, and the outcome could change in a heartbeat...

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So that's the end of chapter 1… I will be finishing it off in probably 3 chapters, we will see….

Please Review!!


	2. Money, Money, Money!

Thanks to those who continue to review my stories, all of you, this is dedicated to you lot!! And those who are reading this but not reviewing please do, and pass the word round to other scrubs fan-fic writers/readers

Disclaimer:- I don't own the characters, any complaints and I set Sweaty Teddy on you!!

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Chapter 2:- Money, Money, Money!!

Turk had a look on his face that said he was probably going to lose this one, he knew in his gut, just yesterday he had that feeling and the patient had died on the table, nobody was going to die today though.

J.D. reached for the spinner and closed his eyes, he span it and it landed on 8, he moved down the track and claimed a payday of $100,000

Turk needed a big spin, try and get closer to J.D., the dial span furiously, and landed on 1, He was also now the father of fraternal twins, Elliot passed him 2 pegs, 1 pink 1 blue, and picked his 4th life card, J.D. was thinking _ok this is clearly going to be close, but my 20 grand salary advantage is going to help here._

J.D. opened his next turn by purchasing a stock card for $50,000 "collect $10,000 from the bank anytime the number on the card is spun" the cards were numbered 1 through 9 and J.D. drew card number 7, then span a 3, collected a pay day and a life card.

Turk decided to get himself in the stocks and shares business, and also opened his next turn by buying a stock card for the $50,000 price tag, picked number 6, and then span a 6, collecting his first $10,000, he carried straight on, rather than take the left hand fork, and joined the investorettes picking up another stock free of charge, picking at random the card with the number 3.

It was J.D.'s turn and he landed on 6; Turk once again collected 10,000 dollars from the bank, J.D. read off the space "cause traffic accident while promoting street safety, $25,000 to the bank… Damn it!!"

Turk then span a 3, collected his 3rd consecutive bonus of 10,000 dollars...plus 80,000 dollars for another pay day

J.D. span a 5, and decided to sell the house, spins a 6 and sells for 80 thousand, Turk tried to lay claim to what he rightly saw as his 10,000 dollar prize, But J.D. Objected, Elliot checked the rules, " the rule book states anytime... so he's right" handing Turk the note he had claimed but J..D. didn't feel he was entitled to.

J.D. knew Turk would probably win now _damn it,, but then the rules are the rules!!_

Elliot offered J.D. the deck of house cards and he drew out 2 "Flanders house or the wolfcastle wolf castle, oh what to do?? Ok, I'm going to conserve the cash I have, and go with the cheaper option of the Flanders house for $120,000 **AND** insure it for another 30, total 150 grand" he said passing Elliot 2 $100,000 bills and getting his change… "Pleasure doing business with you"

He span again, yet another 6, 3 spaces along, takes the "lower fork" and another 3 spaces, and winds up with a payday and an orange space "settle Krusty's product liability suit, collect 80,000" with that Turk claimed yet another 10,000 Dollars more "that's 5 bonuses in a row, that was fast That pays for my investment, anything else is now profit"

Dr cox walked in and took a look at the board on the table, he was about to start shouting when Turk said "Izzy is asleep, wake her and Carla will kick your ass from here to New York, via Tokyo, Paris and London"

"Marge, tell Lisa here that she has a 6am start tomorrow as do you, we are short staffed again… oh and you Barbie, your also on at 6… don't be late…" with that he turned and left

Elliot sat there seething, her planned shoe shopping trip would have to wait, "think of the extra money" said Turk… "he's trying to score brownie points with the board, he's going to be chief 1 day, or so the rumours go"

"Fine", said elliot, "by the way its your go, Turk"

Turk crossed his fingers for a 3 or a 6, the spinner went round and just about went over the 4 and stopped at the 3,  
he bagged a life tile, his 5th of the game, and collected another, $10,000

"Oh my lord" whispered J.D. "this is slightly freaky now"

J.D. finally broke the streak of sixes and threes with a 7, which resulted in a Pay-Day, a life card and 10,000 Dollar Bonus at last "in your face" he mouthed at Turk... _that will come back and bite me on the ass..._

Turk landed a spin of 9, collecting a double payday of $160,000 plus yet another life card, he now had 6 of them

J.D. still leading by quite a way, reached for the wheel, and span a 5, "payday & Mr Burns thinks you are his heir, collect $100,000, so that's $200,000 Elliot please"

Elliot handed him the money and that was that.

Turk proclaimed "come on… need a good number here" it was a 9, so he got a pay day of $80,000, decided to sell the house, to see what he would sell it for, he span the wheel, landed a 6, collected yet another $10,000 bonus, J.D. looked disgusted at this, but knew it was legit… turk looked at the card, "one hundred and ten thousand please" he requested of Elliot… she counted it out and passed it over… "And a new house?" she asked him "no, I'll keep the money safe, and return the house insurance slip, besides money in the bank is what counts…"

The game was reaching its closing stages and what would happen next??

J.D. reached for the spinner and span…

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OK that's the end of chapter 2, and a cliff-hanger, as for chapter 3, wait and see folks, it will be when I write it and not before!!

REVIEWS PLEASE!!


	3. If I Had a Million Dollars

Ok, final chapter folks, I know I said it may run to 4 chapters. But the end of the run-through didn't take as long as I thought, so its only 3… for those of you who feel deprived of a chapter… go check out the rest of my stories, and please review them… I said it already and will say it again, please review!!

Disclaimer:- I own nothing bar my own imagination, complaints should be directed to sweaty teddy c/o Sacred Heart… clear?? Good!!

Italics is J.D. thinking inside his head, unless another name precedes the text in italics, then it is that person thinking… all clear, groovy!!

**Chapter 2 recap:-**

The game was reaching its closing stages and what would happen next nobody knew…

J.D. reached for the spinner and span…

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**Chapter 3:-** If I had a million dollars

J.D. reached for the spinner and when the wheel has stopped spinning it was pointing at the 9, he was reaching for his car counter when Turk asked him "and what do you think your doing on my go?"

J.D looked at the board then consulted the rulebook; yes the rules said spin again for the space Turk was sitting on…

"OK" he said to Turk "you want to take that 9 or re-spin it?? I'll take the re-spin thanks" reaching for the dial… he span a 5 and collected a pay day of $80,000, J.D. had not been counting the cash but he was fairly certain he was still comfortably ahead…

"Now it's your turn" said Elliot to J.D. as she handed Turk his money for the payday he had taken…

_I better apologise to Turk… it's one of those easier mistakes to make, and besides unlike grey's anatomy… nobody is going to die cause of it_

"O.K., and Turk??" he said, Turk Pre-empted him "your sorry, right??… Don't be its one of those easy mistakes to make, nobody died like in grey's anatomy… so its fine"

_That's pretty much what I was going to say… lets see if it works on Elliot_

_Go get me a beer…_

"Get yourself a beer, J.D." said Elliot…

_OK, that's freaking me out a little here…I better spin this dial now…_

He span the wheel, and landed on 2… "Block all long distance calls to Australia, pay $30,000, hang on that's my symbol… no need, your go Brown Bear"

Turk then went all out on the wheel and it went round and round and round… landing up on a 2, "taxes due…" he checked his card, and passed Elliot the requisite $35,000

J.D. smiled inwardly, he was thinking to himself _good, but there is still time for him to come back and win this… got to hope I don't make a stupid mistake here…_he span a 3, this meant Turk collected yet another $10,000, but he collected a $100,000 payday… _firmly in control but It could all change in the blink of an eye.._

Turk then span a second consecutive 3… "played for and got… 10 grand bonus and another life card please Elliot…"

_These life cards, he's got 7 of them now, minimum of 10 grand each up to 50 grand for 3 of them… that could cost me the win at the end_

J.D. then went for a big number and wound up with a 7 "10 grand bonus, he moved the car along the spaces, and counted them off… six, seven, pay day please… so that's a hundred and ten Thousand"

Turk:- _Damn, I think he's going to win... un-cool!!_

Turk then span a 1, "bank error in your favour, wrong game, but still collect $95,000!!, J.D. you whanna say it now or wait till I kick your ass at the end??"

"wait and see… I am ahead on the track and ahead on cash I reckon… so you may have to say it…"

Carla walked in "oh Heya guys, Izzy asleep?" "Yeah, I checked her half an hour ago" said Turk… Carla went to check… she came back and announced "lucky for you she's still asleep… or you'd be in trouble, ok I just came back on my break to check on Izzy, grab some gloves and then head back to the hospital… oh and Turk??"

"Yeah??" asked Turk, she lent down to whisper in Turks ear "never say I'm Puerto Rican again to Elliot… I'm Dominican and don't you forget it…" Turk looked shocked "I was testing Elliot…" Carla did not look amused… "Since we are married, I know you love me… so I'll let it slide… this time… ok" With that she took the gloves off the kitchen counter and left…

Elliot simply "yeah I texted her and told her… anyways by my reckoning it's J.D.'s go"

J.D. Span and once again came up with a 7, pay day plus a $10,000 bonus for the 2nd turn running, so that's another hundred and ten Thousand"

Turk knew the game was up… but he was going to be a good sport and finish it, as it should be…

"nine.." he counted off the spaces "payday… eight, nine… Block all long distance calls to Australia, pay $30,000" he said then thought about it "ok, I owe J.D., so give me the 50 and hand JD the rest of my salary"

Elliot obliged and then J.D. took his next go, 1, "taxes due… damn it that's a whole 45 grand…" he said gloomily as he handed Elliot a green $50,000 and took his change "ah, but your only fifteen down on the deal… with the thirty you just made from me" pointed out Turk… "true but that's still D-A, which is one third of a damn it…"

Turk then span a 3 "pay day plus a bonus is 90 Thousand"… _still 10 grand short of my 100 grand salary… he will have to admit to being my bi-atch at the end at this rate_

J.D. then span a 6, picked up a pay day of 100 Thousand, Turk collected another $10,000 bonus on the spin (the 2 stock cards were paying off big style… did he have a chance??)

J.D. looked at the situation "well I think that not buying a house cost you big time, Turk… but we will see" Turk just looked at him and said "its on, and I will beat you"

Turk then went for broke, landing on a 7, this gave J.D. a stock card bonus, but he closed the gap a bit with $80,000 in a pay packet… even so he knew if he landed on a trade salary card space with J.D., that was his 1 chance at winning the game…

J.D. kept up his run of paydays with a 5… another 100 Thousand… enough for victory?? Who knew??

Elliot's phone bleeped "text… from Dr Cox…"

"R U still playing that stupid game Barbie?? Who's going to win??"

She responded… "Almost finished, and "BETTY" is in the lead, I think she may win"

"Hey only Dr Cox does that to me…" protested J.D.

"Well I just deputised for him Gladys" Said Elliot Dryly

Turk span a 4 "spin again if not in the lead" he obliged got a 5, "payday and once again, spin again if not in the lead" he did so, span for 9 and picked up his 8th life card….

J.D. then span a 5 and picked up a life card, "finally I get my 3rd life card back… took long enough"

Turk was 11 spaces from the finish and hoping for a good number, got a 10… "Double pay day of 160 Thousand plus I get to drain the social security system, 20 Thousand dollars multiplied by the spin…" he span, landed on 9 and took the system for $180,000… "That's a big three hundred and forty grand right there" said Elliot "and you may as well not spin on your next go, its only 1 space… "He spins" Said J.D., pointing to his stock card… "Fine" said Turk "I'll spin it"

J.D. Span and got an 8, more than enough to retire… he went to burn's manor so he was in contention for the 4 life cards… he then sold the house a spin of 9 and picked up 150 Thousand _that's that now to count up the cash_

Turk knew the spin was pointless, but he made the last spin just so J.D. would be happy… it stopped "Seven, 10 grand please Elliot"… Turk didn't argue, he just moved his car to burn's manor

"Right, now what??" asked J.D. Elliot read the rules "you count up the cash, who ever has more takes the 4 life cards, a tie and you take 2 each, then you add up cash plus all your life cards and whoever has the bigger grand total wins

J.D. and Turk sifted through the piles of game money in front of them and removed the insurance slips, stock cards, salary and Career cards...

Elliot went to get a piece of paper and a pen from the drawer of the sideboard, while J.D. and Turk counted up the cash…

Turk was first to declare his "One Million, Five hundred and Ninety Five Thousand Dollars…"

Elliot scribbled down the figure and waited for J.D. and 10 seconds later he started smiling "One Million… Six Hundred and Sixty Thousand" he proclaimed… "my bonus I think" he said scooping the tiles up and putting them separately from the rest

of his life tiles…

Turk turned over his life tiles one by one

They comprised a pretty healthy list

Perfect self tapping dance shoes: - $40,000

Survive a soap box derby: - $10,000

Catch general Sherman the catfish: - $10,000

Develop non-tipping chair: - $10,000

Have an earthbound comet named for you: - $10,000

Find rare coin in kwik-e-mart change: - $10,000

Design the homer automobile: - $20,000

Paint a portrait of your boss in the buff: - $20,000

Total = $130,000

Elliot added it up "One Million, Seven Hundred and Twenty Five Thousand"

J.D. had also turned over his life tiles, all 7 of them

3 from the game:-

Become little Miss Springfield: - $30,000

Concoct herbal love tonic: - $40,000

Throw heavyweight title fight: - $50,000

total = :- $120,000

And the 4 from burn's manor:-

Create the flaming Moe :- $20,000

Write top 40 hit insulting Ned Flanders :- $50,000

Patent moon waffles :- $30,000

Become cartoon voice-over actor :- $50,000

total = :- $150,000

Elliot took a minute to add it up and then double checked her maths… just to be sure…. "J.D. wins" she announced… "One point nine three million grand total…

"are you sure??" asked Turk in a tone of non belief…

"oh I am sure" said Elliot.. check the math yourself… Turk Did so and she was bang on…

J.D. Just looked at his best friend and said "just say it man… you knew i'd win one some day…"

"I'm your Bitch, just this once J.D. and i will get you back in a re-match…" he said… "But not tonight… I need to go check on Izzy then go to bed…

"Any time your ready, I'll be waiting"… said J.D.

"You still want that ride home J.D.?? after all you've had a couple of beers" queried Elliot…

"yeah, just give me a couple of minutes to pack this away" Responded J.D. still smiling from the victory

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And there you have it… J.D. did indeed win… reviews please!!


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